This is a post I probably shouldn’t write.
It’s messy. It’s complicated. It’s long. And it doesn’t necessarily paint me in the best light.
But it’s a message I believe needs to be heard by more copywriters and creators.
Because very few people talk about the dark side of creating.
And yet, I’ve found it’s the most critical ingredient for success in the long run.
So here goes nothing…
Yesterday, after a pretty tough week, I decided to send my daily email a bit early and use the extra time to unplug for the weekend with my girlfriend.
There’s this itty-bitty vineyard tucked away in the foothills that we LOVE to go to.
But we can almost never make it there.
Because they close at 6 pm (!!).
And it’s an hour away from our apartment.
Which means to get there and actually have time to hang out, we have to leave (super) early for a workday.
But yesterday, we finally got the chance to.
On the drive over, Amanda played fun music that we both can sing along to.
We let the windows down and coasted through the countryside singing our hearts out.
With every mile, I could feel the weight of the week drip off in the dust behind us.
Then, we got to the vineyard.
And we were shocked!
Because there was almost NOBODY there.
Which meant we practically had this beautiful place to ourselves.
It was the perfect way to end the week!
Until…
I opened my phone.
By accident, I hadn’t closed out of the email app.
So when I opened it to take a picture of the view, I saw a reply to the email I’d scheduled to go out that afternoon.
Now, I LOVE getting emails from my readers more than anything. And I almost always get cool responses to my headline rewrites.
So curiosity got the best of me and I opened up the reply to see what this person had written.
And this was the message:
My heart sank as I read it.
Not just because this was something I’d put a lot of time into writing… only to get slapped in the face.
But also because it was a truly nasty and bigoted message.
I wouldn’t let a stranger talk to me that way much less someone who I’d practically let into my home and life (which I kind of do with my emails).
Amanda was sitting across from me when I read it.
And she saw the pain flash across my face.
“What’s wrong?”
I tried to shrug it off like it was nothing.
“Ah just read something. It’s all good.”
“Really?” she added suspiciously.
(She knows me so well).
But the truth is that message did hurt.
A lot.
Because it’s not the first time I’ve heard things like this about being “too friendly” and having an annoying voice.
Actually, when I first started my YouTube channel back in 2011, I had a bunch of videos on building your social skills that I worked super hard on.
For some reason, one of those videos went mildly viral, picking up like 10,000 views in a week.
And you might think that was something I would have gotten to celebrate.
But in reality, it caused me to delete the video altogether.
I got over 20 comments on the video of people all talking about how annoying the person’s voice was.
As if the person (ME!) couldn’t see any of that going on.
I couldn’t handle it so I deleted video from the channel.
Even though I really liked doing it.
But it didn’t matter because that one bad experience — those 20 haters — ruined everything for me.
(Even though there were double the amount of positive comments).
And so, after that, I was always really cautious about how I spoke.
I tried my best to speak better, clearer and deeper.
But for the longest time, I was too scared to do any creating whatsoever.
What’s crazy is years later, just when I thought I was getting more confident on camera, the same thing happened again with my Upwork Challenge video.
One day, that video started to get a bunch of traction suddenly.
And a bunch of random people started commenting on my voice AGAIN.
I was like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Am I being attacked?!”
And I was *THIS CLOSE* to deleting the whole thing again.
Now, you might think I tell this story as a cautionary tell to deter you from the creation process.
But that’s not how this story goes.
Because watch what happens next.
One day out of nowhere, I got a message from one of my readers, Isaiah who said he’d used the lessons in that very video I was about to delete to land a $5k client.
So I kept it online for another day.
I chose to not let those negative comments ruin everything.
Since then, dozens more people have written in that those videos have given them hope, inspiration and motivation to do something for their freelance career.
Imagine what would have happened if I deleted it?
Imagine if I let people like Mark (from above) determine what kind of emails I write and how I sell products?
I think about stories like this a lot when I remember what it’s like to be a newer copywriter.
I’m not going to pretend that I chose to become a copywriter and then everything in my life was all perfect.
I remember showing my work to other copywriters and getting brutal notes and feedback.
Things that made me genuinely question if I was cut out for this world.
But what I’ve learned is you can’t confuse the signal with the noise.
If you feel a calling to create, to write, to do anything in life, don’t build your actions and decisions around the people who tell you to quit.
The people who tell you you’ll never make it.
The people who tell you you’re not good enough.
Build them with the belief that one day your message will find the people who need to hear it.
For you, that might mean pairing your style writing with the right client.
Or matching your passion with a specific copywriting niche.
Or combining two skills that nobody thought of yet for marketing.
But please, for all that is good in the world, don’t sacrifice your dream or what makes you YOU for a hater.
Just pour them a nice strong glass of Hater-aide and get back to what you do best…
…Creating.