Emailing thousands of copywriters and marketers per day comes with a few unintended side effects…
… One is that I get a rare glimpse into things ONLY people like us say that nobody else would understand!
Yes, we’re a weird section of the internet.
So today, I wanted to share a few of my favorite examples of real things I’ve heard ONLY copywriters say that make me think, laugh, smile and say, “OMG! YES!”
1. Copywriter to a friend: “Wait – you don’t actually read every email a company sends you?”
Friend: “Definitely not.”
We’re weird like that.
2. “So what stage of awareness are we writing to?”
Thanks Eugene for completely alienating us from every other marketer in the room!
3. “I bought the offer just to see their upsells.”
In case you were wondering, normal people do not do this. LOL.
4. “How big is your list?”
Few people care about the size of OTHER people’s list more than copywriters.
5. “Okay so the open rate looked solid, but that CTR was really low. And when we look at the on-page conversion numbers, there’s a lot of optimization that needs to be done.”
If you ever need to explain to a family member what you do, just use a version of this to sound super smart.
6.
Client: “What’s the status on this project?”
Copywriters: “Oh, I’m still doing research!”
Come on… We *know* what that really means. You haven’t started writing yet, have you?
7. “So … we’re thinking a long-form sales page right?”
It always ends up being long-form to “them” doesn’t it? Hahaha
8. “Email is literally the greatest invention of all time!”
Yeah, but have you tried DAILY email yet? It’s like all email but even better.
9. “Ahh… I wish I could share a sample but it’s actually covered under an NDA.”
Toooootally! 
10. “Okay… I know we’re not supposed to be worried, but like have you seen AI copywriting yet?”
Rookie writers you’ve been warned!
11. “My client is such a pain! They expect me to move quick on every assignment but then they take FOREVER to approve the copy.”
*Ahem*, *Ahem*
Note: that same copywriter has a “waitlist” that makes clients apply to work with them. So you have to wonder… who’s really waiting on who?
12. “So I know the problem here… We’ve got to turn the features into benefits!”
And let me guess… The guarantee needs to be ironclad right?
13.
Client: “So I want to increase sales and be emailing more but I really don’t want to get a bunch of unsubscribes. Can you help with that?”
Copywriter:
Yeah! And we can get you a unicorn while we’re at it! Any other special requests?
14. Copywriter: “I don’t fall for any persuasive tricks any more”
*Checks credit card bill*
$97
$197
$9.97
$1,997
$47
$497
So… what are all those charges then?
Copywriter: “Oh those? I was funnel hacking!”
15. Copywriters: “I hate people who brag about how much they’re making”
Also Copywriters: “I’m so incredibly humbled to have made my client $1 million this month! It’s truly an honor to write for a brand like this. Also, I wrote all of it.”
16. “So what do we think about Frank Kern again?”
The guy is timeless! …. Right?
Wait, are we still cool with Frank?
Guys?
GUYYSSS?
17. “And how do you see RMBC fitting into this strategy?”
Everything must be RMBC’d you know?
18. “I think we’ve got a list problem here.”
Really? Are you sure it’s *just* a list issue?
19.
Client: “Copy should be good to go! Just got to run it by legal!”
Copywriter:
Maybe we could just run this one without legal’s approval…?